The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant. The population is growing.
– Cole’s Axiom

Oh… That explains a lot.

Next week is Glenview’s 2nd annual mission to New Orleans. This year I, along with about 120 other church members, will be rebuilding the city. Last year we split our forces between demolition of ruined houses and building new ones. This year the demolition is pretty much done, so we’ll all be building.

The reason I mention this is that I am really out of shape and it concerns me. I haven’t been on my bike since last Fall. It’s been longer than that since my last real rock climbing. I’m worried that five straight days of hoisting sheet rock is going to kick my butt. But it’s too late now to do any strength training.

That brings me to this week’s white board quip. It’s from a Twitter post that my friend Dave wrote.

Started doing yoga last night… Way more grunting and farting than anticipated.

I’ve never done yoga, but I have so been there and done that!

Last night, DFW got a light dusting of snow. Of course, by morning it was little more than some frosting on the grass, but did actually see snow flakes falling. *sigh* I miss the mountains.

Anyway, I promised you a white board quip so here it is.

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

In Dallas, he drives 90 MPH just like everyone else. And if he actually encounters any icy bridges… he dies just like everyone else.

This is going to be another low traffic week for me. Very little surfing which leads to very little blogging. I’m redoubling (quadrupling??) my efforts at work.

This week is our annual distributor conference. Most of our international distribution partners will be here in Texas and the marketing and executive folks will be all tied up talking about sales strategies and quarterly gross differential margin analysis (read as, “stuff I know nothing about”). But for me that means that this week should be fairly uninterrupted by problems with the web site. The “squeaky wheels”, so to speak, will be otherwise occupied.

And all that explains this week’s white board quip.

I can’t because I’m all busy eating a carrot stick.
– Dilbert

So far this year, I’ve failed miserably at one of my resolutions: to memorize 52 Bible verses in 2008. So far I’m at zero. The good news is our church is testing out a new curriculum that includes scripture memory. Now I can finally start wrestling that particular demon. Which brings us to this weeks white board quip.

I tried to wrestle my demons once, but they used too many illegal holds.
Steven Wright

This week’s white board quip reminds me of… umm…

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

An important lesson learned from WeightWatchers has been that little things add up. You can shave a good amount of calories from your normal diet by making small changes. Croutons, for example. Croutons add a couple of points to your salad. Are they really that important to the enjoyment level of your meal? If you can forgo the croutons, you’ve got two more points you can spend on something more enjoyable, like fresh fruit or a hot fudge sundae. (What?!)

Speaking of croutons, here’s this week’s white board quip.

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It’s just stale bread to begin with.
– George Carlin

This weekend, Tammy and I found a book store going out of business at our local mall. Tammy bought the “last” Harry Potter book, hardback, for $7. I picked up Steve Martin’s autobiography “book on tape” (actually, it’s 4 CDs) for just under $10.

I’ve always had a warm spot in my heart for Steve Martin probably because he was my brother’s favorite comedian back in the late 70’s, when I was just a little guy. I snuck out of bed once and watched Steve on Saturday Night Live with my brother.

I’ve had this Steve Martin quote in my quip database for ages. Now, I’m inspired to post it. It’s from his comedy album that I bought about ten years ago.

Some people have a way with words… others not have way.

Normally, if I don’t get a new WBQotW posted by Tuesday, I just let the week slide and post a new one the following Monday. It just doesn’t seem fair for a white board quip to get short changed, spending only four or five days on the board rather than seven.

But today is Wednesday. I didn’t post a new quip last week and if I don’t post one this week, our current quip, clever as it is, will have been on the board three weeks, and that’s just not right.

Thus, I present a “short week” white board quip.

Why is “abbreviated” such a long word?

Get it? Ahaa… Ahaa ha.

This week’s white board quip contains some simple wisdom about human nature, or perhaps more specifically, man nature.

Tell a man there are 300 trillion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you. Tell him a seat has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch it to be sure.

Ain’t it the truth?